The fact that there is no more rounding is a better default that we no longer must put any thought into. It's more convenient. I fail to see how it harms the relationship in a way that's "petty".
This also completely leaves out the inconvenience of planning a large gathering for friends and fronting all the money yourself. Yes, it may feel "petty" to be reminded to pay your share, but imagine if 12 people all owed you $50. I say it's petty to need to be reminded.
Please, someone explain to me how splitting expenses is a negative thing. How is it petty? How is it more "transaction" and less "relationship"?
This article is borderline "Millennial bait," but: Suppose I invite you over to my apartment to hang out. I offer you a beer. You accept, so I tally "1 beer" on a little notepad.
You have some potato chips. ("13 chips" goes on your tally.) You use the toilet twice, flushing both times. ("7 gallons of water" goes on your tally.)
You're a bit hot, so I turn up the air conditioning. (I need to break out the calculator, but "+$0.63 for AC" also goes on your tally.) You tell me about a sad movie you watched recently. (This reminds me of a family problem I am having, which is mentally taxing. Since I'll likely need an anxiety pill, I add a fraction of the prescription cost to your tally.) You suggest a walk in the park; we go out. Walking makes me thirsty, so I buy a bottle of water. (But since walking was your idea, I add "1 bottle of water" to your tally.)
Do any of the above come across as petty - or absurd - to you? If so, then that will give you some idea of how someone might feel that splitting social meal expenses down to the penny - and with a written record, to boot - feels transactional. The point is everyone has a threshold where this kind of Venmo'ing behavior goes from innocently equitable to distrustfully penny-pinching.
Venmo'ing someone can be the equivalent of saying, "I don't trust that our relationship will proceed in terms that will average out in such a way that is fair to me." Insisting on Venmo'ing is a lot like insisting that your significant other tell you their email password. If you have to insist this in all cases, maybe rethink your relationship?
I see what you're saying. I'd say the petty part there is the tallying the small items I offered to you in my home.
Going out to a restaurant with a group is not the same thing, though. If there are three people eating at a moderately priced restaurant and one person picks up the tab, it's not petty to request reimbursement.
In a cash world, it would be petty to demand exact change because of the extra effort it requires to produce it. In an automatic payments world, it's no extra effort on either side.
Absolutely. Rounding leads to trying to keep a mental tally of how much do I owe you vs hoe much you owe me. My wife's family is a mess with that because everyone remembers or forgets different amounts. Just let me reimburse you exactly what you paid and we will always be square. How could that be a bad thing?
The fact that there is no more rounding is a better default that we no longer must put any thought into. It's more convenient. I fail to see how it harms the relationship in a way that's "petty".
This also completely leaves out the inconvenience of planning a large gathering for friends and fronting all the money yourself. Yes, it may feel "petty" to be reminded to pay your share, but imagine if 12 people all owed you $50. I say it's petty to need to be reminded.
Please, someone explain to me how splitting expenses is a negative thing. How is it petty? How is it more "transaction" and less "relationship"?