The work never ends, friend.

Try this. Think hard about what you think "it" is. Is it CEO? Making $1M a year? Making $5M a year? Healthy family? Etc.

I think what you realize in the brainstorm is you have some of "it" already. But something's missing.

So, then ask this question: can you change your situation to attain that missing thing? If so, how? And if you aren't doing that, why? Ask why again. A third time.

Inaction is a very easy way to get stuck overthinking "it" when you might get that thing just by changing/trying your situation to the best of your ability.

I am articulating what seems linear but in reality its messy and not very linear. It's work and it's trial and error.

But more than ever, I'm ok and comfortable with the construct of my life. I don't make anywhere near what I hoped to make. I'm not an executive. I don't now think that I NEED (and am missing) those two things to fufill my life. (those are examples, I have others)

Thank you for sharing your work!

Years ago, at a mindfulness meditation retreat, I heard the word "skilful" used in a very specific way.

Since then, I've tried to become more skilful, and your reply above really evinces the "ongoing journey" nature of that work.

I wish you the very best in your journey!

I like that. Appreciate your words and likewise.

Great way to put it: "skill"

Learned/experience/must practice the skill of getting comfortable!

Tell me more about retreat? In overall terms? Worth it? Worth doing again?

Also - did it include any substances? Not judging one way or another but I know that some psychedelic concepts align with some retreats.

It was a week-long silent meditation (Vipassana), focusing on "Mindful Awareness".

It was at a point in my life where I was able to do it (and I'm grateful), but I have a kid in kindergarten now, so it'd be hard to convince my wife that it's important enough that she should single-handedly manage for a week.

Overall, I think the major benefit for me, was that it bootstrapped this mental model:

* Our minds are constantly spawning processes, and "learning how to start + keep running a debug process" is an invaluable tool for gathering data.

* Once you've gathered a reasonable amount of data, you will start to spot patterns. One of the teachers at this retreat expressed it as "wisdom will arise"

I have a long way to go, but I'm grateful every day that I have this foundation.

In an ideal world, it'd be nice to do this again, to compare where I am today (IIRC, it's been ~8 years).

P.S. there were no substances included :)

Fascinating, thank you.

For what it's worth, I think recognizing patterns and then stepping away to say "execute this way, or choose another way" is a huge huge skill. Not all past patterns make sense for current/future situations!